Mentors Are Golden Bridges: 12 Secrets Solomon Knew

Sermon outline

Like Solomon, who trusted his father David, you need a God-given mentor who will correct you, coach you and build your confidence, because mentors are golden bridges to your future.

1. What a mentor is

   A mentor is a wise and trusted counsellor or teacher who helps and advises you over a period of time to get where you want to go. You can mentor while being mentored, because somebody always knows more than you. Mentors have been where you want to go, and their endurance and the grace of God on them qualify them to speak wise words with grace into your life.

   “Mentors are golden bridges to your future. So you cannot fire them from your life.”

2. Solomon trusted his mentor

   The golden thread through all of Solomon's writings is the importance of hearing the instructions of others: he called those who rebelled against correction fools and those who respected it wise. David almost certainly shared with Solomon his desire to build the temple and why God refused him, sowing the assignment in his son's heart. Samuel, likewise, was mentored by Eli and went on to anoint David, through whose line Jesus came.

   “Uncommon mentors recognise the hand of God on uncommon people that are being mentored.”

   • Proverbs 9:9
   • 1 Chronicles 22:7-10
   • 1 Samuel 3:1
   • 1 Samuel 16:13

3. Secrets 1 to 3: a gift from God you must pursue

   Your mentor is a gift from God and meeting them is a divine assignment, so don't treat it lightly: celebrate and pursue that person, man or woman. Your mentor does not need what you know nearly as much as you need them, because they have already accomplished their dreams and solved the problems you still face. He believes the fivefold ministry gifts are there to pull out the gold in you, as someone once did for him by preaching, praying and laying hands on him.

   Illustration: Some sit condemned because someone has put 'death in the pot' by telling them they can't make it; it takes a mentor to say, 'Yes, you can,' then prophesy, lay hands on them and pray the goodness of God over them.

   “So when you're in church, something is being mined out of you.”

   • Ephesians 4:11
   • 2 Kings 4:40
   • Romans 8:31

4. Secrets 4 and 5: a coach, not a cheerleader

   Your mentor won't just clap all the time; now and again you will be rubbed the wrong way, because a coach loves you and pushes you towards where you need to go. He says his own confidence is in God, not in people, so he must be sure he speaks the mind of the Lord even when they think he has lost it.

   “Your mentor is not present to confirm what you are doing right, but to correct you when you are wrong.”

5. Secrets 6 to 9: learn the right way

   Focus on the centre of your mentor's expertise, since no one is good at everything. Schedule private moments, because something exclusively for you emerges when you pursue them, and when you are with them, stop talking and listen. Keep in continuous touch, note questions as they arise, and remember that a mentor usually only comments on what you ask about.

   Illustration: Your lawyer may not be a great cook, so learn law from him, not cooking. With other pastors he deliberately starts a conversation, then goes quiet and listens until they say the thing he came for. He also describes children absorbed in an iPhone or iPad: you're there, but they're not really there.

   “Don't be absent in those holy moments. Be present.”

6. Secrets 10 and 11: keep confidences and accept their humanity

   Don't share the trusted secrets your mentor tells you with just anyone; that is what keeps the relationship special. Your mentor's flaws are there to encourage you, not distract you: if someone obviously flawed can have extraordinary success, so can you. Confidence plus faith makes prayer easy, and confidence grows when you watch someone else break a barrier.

   Illustration: When he was first saved, the challenges after six months made him want to throw in the towel, but God was training him to help others. Years ago he went with his pastor to bless a brand-new Mercedes-Benz C-Class in a car park and said in his heart, 'One day I'm going to get this car'; that day came, with a later model.

   “If your mentor was perfect, he would not be able to tolerate your presence.”

7. Secret 12: live without your mentor present

   There came a time when David died and Solomon had to depend completely on God, and he celebrated the discoveries of others. By now the church has seen miracles, so they should not wait for the pastor to lay hands on a sick relative in hospital: the same anointing that is in him is in them, so they can anoint with oil, pray and encourage others with the Word.

   “When you go to a hospital and a family member is sick, and you want to pray for them, you don't need my permission.”