Daddies Are Anchors: 16 Wisdom Keys for Fathers

Sermon outline

Being a father is the most fulfilling job a man can have and a full-time investment in the generations to come, so fathers must learn to be loving, patient, faithful, present anchors and foundations for their families.

1. Three things that cause problems in life

   First, people perish for lack of knowledge, but today knowledge is available, so every Christian home should have a bookcase and study. Second, there is a misconception of life: Jesus clashed most with religious people bound by tradition, and the church must replace religion with kingdom principles and live the resurrection life. Third, a lack of spiritual sight; he says God opened his understanding when he became a radical seed sower, because God first sees whether you are a good steward of natural things before trusting you with spiritual things.

   Illustration: He quotes E. M. Bounds: man is looking for better methods; God is looking for better men, for man is God's method.

   “If you can't handle the unrighteous mammon, how would you handle the spiritual anointing that God will give you?”

   • Hosea 4:6
   • 2 Timothy 2:15
   • Matthew 23:27
   • Luke 16:11

2. Why fathers matter

   Social research shows that a father's presence, more than almost any other factor, shapes a child's success and happiness, and that the breakdown of families feeds social ills. Children in father-absent homes are far more likely to be poor, abuse substances or drop out of school. He commends single mothers who have raised their children well, and says he himself grew up without a father, but his mother played the role of both.

   “Being a father is the most fulfilling job a man can have.”

3. Fathering is a full-time job

   As Christian parents we make an eternal investment, because what we invest in our children they will invest in theirs, and our decisions affect the third and fourth generation. Becoming a good father is not automatic: it takes time, accountability, planning, discipline and love. Even when both parents work, children must not be neglected; a father must be closely involved, checking on his children because he cares about their future.

   Illustration: His wife taught their young son the Scriptures until he had read the Bible from Genesis to Revelation, and he once turned up at a teenage party to check on one of his children: embarrassing, he admits, but a father must be involved.

   “Fathering is a full-time job. It's not a part-time job.”

   • Exodus 20:5

4. What a father is: the source

   Definitions determine interpretation. The Hebrew Ab or Abba and the Greek pater mean source, nourisher, sustainer, supporter, founder and protector. God created Adam first and took Eve from his side, showing that a woman stands beside a man, not under his feet or over him, so husbands and wives are partners, not competitors.

   “We are partners together.”

   • Genesis 2:21-22

5. Wisdom keys one to five: loving, understanding, patient, self-controlled, a good listener

   A father must not only discipline but walk in love as Christ loved us. He must be understanding rather than 'my way or the highway', explaining the why. He must be patient and self-controlled: he admits he had a nasty temper when young, yet in all his years of marriage, saved and unsaved, he never once struck his wife, and he says violence against wives is never the way. And he must be a good listener, because men and women are wired differently.

   Illustration: Where he once barked commands, with his grandchildren he now explains why; when he explained to a grandchild why not to roll a ball on the tiles, the child told him, 'You must speak to your son.'

   “Do not adopt the idea, my way or the highway.”

   • Ephesians 5:2

6. Wisdom keys six to nine: a teacher, approachable, a godly example, a man of integrity

   Many of the older generation knew their fathers only as the one who asked which cane or belt they wanted; today's dads must take time to talk, listen and teach their children the fear of the Lord. Be approachable so that wives and children don't hide things for fear of how you will react. Set a godly example, as Jehoshaphat followed the ways of David, and be a man of integrity whose word is his bond.

   Illustration: A well-known wrestler's motto was 'lie, cheat and steal', just like the devil who comes to steal, kill and destroy.

   “If we don't believe your words, how can you believe God's Word?”

   • Psalm 34:11
   • Proverbs 16:32
   • 2 Chronicles 17:3
   • John 10:10
   • Proverbs 15:21

7. Wisdom keys ten to thirteen: a leader, a disciplinarian, a motivator, a provider

   A father must lead and discipline, because folly is bound up in the heart of a child and the rod of discipline drives it away. But while he disciplines he must also encourage, say thank you and build his family up. And he must provide, with the compassion the Lord has for those who fear Him.

   “Encourage them. Build your family up. Say thank you. Be kind. Be a motivator.”

   • Proverbs 22:15
   • Psalm 103:13

8. Wisdom key fourteen: be faithful to your spouse

   He pauses ('Selah') on this key. Temptation is everywhere, so put on blinkers and turn away. Many Christian marriages are in trouble, and running to separate can mean jumping from the frying pan into the fire. Be faithful and respectful to your spouse, and flee sexual immorality, which means running away in haste.

   “Flee from it. When it comes your way, turn your head and move the other way.”

   • 1 Corinthians 6:18

9. Wisdom keys fifteen and sixteen: be considerate, be kind

   Be a considerate father, and above all be kind, not nasty. Good will come to those who are generous and conduct their affairs with justice.

   “Just be kind. Don't be nasty.”

   • Psalm 112:5

10. Fathers are foundations and anchors

    In the kingdom the man is the foundation of the house, and a foundation does its work without being seen, so fathers must guard against cracks in their character. Men are also anchors that give stability, security and rest, and an anchor's strength is only tested under intense pressure. Tests expose our weaknesses so that God can remove them and make us strong anchors.

    “The strength of an anchor can only be tested during intense pressure. Daddies are anchors.”