A Helper, Not a Servant: God's Plan for the Woman at Home

Sermon outline

God created the woman as His gift to the man, equal to him and made in God's image, a helper and not a servant, and when husband and wife honour and respect each other within God's order she becomes the maker, keeper and praying heart of the home.

1. The woman is God's gift to the man

   God said it is not good for man to be alone and made a helper suited to him, so the woman was created as a gift, a companion and a friend. She was never created to be less than the man and is also made in God's image. Remembering that your spouse is a child of God helps in heated moments, and when both are shouting, one has to keep quiet.

   Illustration: Over the years he has learned to 'button my lip', and he urges husbands not to be lazy but to help their wives, because they are partners.

   “A woman was never created to be any lesser than man.”

   • Genesis 2:18
   • Proverbs 18:22
   • Genesis 1:27

2. Life comes with a manual

   To build a happy marriage we must know the will of God from His Word. Husband and wife are partners who lift each other when one is down and ready to quit. The wife is completely equal to the man but not the same, created as a helper and never a servant, so she must be treated with respect, honour and dignity, and any man who mistreats her as lesser is in great error.

   Illustration: Every washing machine, car and electrical device comes with a thick manual that we never read. Someone said everything comes with a manual except life on earth, but he disagrees: the Bible is the manual.

   “She was to be a helper and not a servant.”

   • Genesis 1:27

3. Divine submission is not inferiority

   Authority and submission are part of the eternal relationship of the Father and the Son: the Father works through the Son, and one day the Son will be subject to the Father, yet they are equal. So women should not have a low self-esteem: they are the makers and keepers of the home and nurture children and grandchildren. Young couples who do not yet have everything should keep believing, because small beginnings lead to a greater latter end.

   Illustration: As a young Christian he loved hearing the pastor preach that wives must submit and would afterwards remind 'mom' that she had to submit to him, until he matured and realised submission means sometimes giving and sometimes taking.

   “Submission does not mean that you put your foot on a lady and trample.”

   • Hebrews 1:1-3
   • 1 Corinthians 15:28
   • Job 8:7
   • Psalm 37:4

4. The wife accepts her husband's authority

   A rebellious wife carries the same spirit as a church that rebels against Christ its head. The wife should voluntarily accept her husband's authority, whatever his size, and a wife who submits in faith and patience moves God to make her husband a responsible, caring head. Prayer and the power of God can change hearts in minutes where human counsel takes hours.

   Illustration: Asked to counsel a couple in another African country, not from his church, he heard the slightly built husband complain that his tall wife hit him. Instead of counselling he prayed, both fell under the power of God, and they rose laughing and crying, holding each other and deciding against divorce.

   “When somebody is carrying a demon, you can't counsel a demon. You just have to cast it out.”

   • Ephesians 5:22-24

5. Respect and a wise wife

   Mutual respect makes a marriage a well-oiled machine, so husbands should treat their wives as valuable and give them a hearing, because a wise wife shares the wisdom God gives her to help him make quality decisions. A wise wife prays for her husband and family, keeps the family together and speaks kindly. Even with an unbelieving husband, her good conduct can win him to Christ, because we are epistles read by people.

   “I've learned over the years now to give your wife a hearing.”

   • 1 Peter 3:1-2
   • 2 Corinthians 3:2
   • Matthew 5:16

6. A mother is a homemaker and a prayer warrior

   Proverbs 31 describes the character and value of a wife, and husbands should show her their confidence and gratitude for her ceaseless labour. Women need not feel they cannot measure up, because God never asks us to do something without giving us the power to do it. Mothers juggle many roles, and above all a praying wife sustains her husband, children and home, and God hears her prayers for unsaved loved ones.

   Illustration: Jesse Duplantis tasted a hostess's gumbo and said it was the worst he had ever eaten; her unsaved husband was so struck at meeting an honest preacher that he decided to give his heart to the Lord that Sunday.

   “God never encourages us to do something without giving us the power to do it.”

   • Proverbs 31:10-31

7. Honour her in private and in public

   A wife should submit with honour and, when something annoys her, speak to her husband privately in the car or at home rather than embarrassing him in front of others. He closes the teaching with Proverbs 18:22: he who finds a good wife receives favour from the Lord, so husbands should esteem and honour their wives greatly.

   “If you want to say something to your husband, say it in the privacy of your car or your home.”

   • Proverbs 18:22