From Super Apostle to Least of Saints: Work on Your Personality
Dr RJ Sing, 33 min, Part 3 of Solving Life's Problems
Originally preached as “Solving Life's Problems: Improving Your Personality”
Sermon outline
Your personality can be your greatest asset or your greatest liability, and if you commit to working on it the way Paul grew, you will solve a great many of life's problems before they start.
Main text
- 1 Samuel 16:7
- Proverbs 27:19
Opening
He opens with a prayer drawn from Colossians 1 for wisdom, understanding and strength in the inner man, and binds every hindering spirit. He reminds the church that the series has already covered shaping your destiny and mind management, and that today's subject is improving your personality. Before reading 1 Samuel 16:7 he tells a joke about an usher who warns an elderly visitor that the pastor is boring, only to learn she is the pastor's mother.
God looks on the heart and wants us to grow: the example of Paul
He lays a foundation of scriptures showing that God looks at the heart, that the heart reflects the person, and that believers are meant to grow up into maturity. He then plots Paul's growth across about nine years of his letters: from 'not the least inferior to the super apostles', to 'the least of apostles', to 'the very least of all saints', to 'the foremost of sinners'. Paul was highly trained and intelligent, yet he still had to grow in personality and stature.
Illustration: Paul's own statements about himself, placed side by side from about AD 55 to AD 64, show a man who was once cocky and arrogant steadily growing humbler.
“God wants us to grow. He doesn't want us to remain at the same level.”
- 1 Samuel 16:7
- Romans 7:15-17
- Psalm 139:14
- Proverbs 27:19
- Luke 2:52
- Ephesians 4:14-15
- Colossians 4:12
- 2 Corinthians 11:5
- 1 Corinthians 15:9
- Ephesians 3:8
- 1 Timothy 1:15
- 2 Corinthians 11:6
- Acts 22:3
Your personality is your greatest asset or your greatest liability
Your personality influences everything around you: your business, your workplace and every relationship. He uses himself as the example, saying most of the trouble he got into he created for himself by speaking before thinking, and that he had to grow his personality. He asks the church to mark this day as the beginning of changing theirs.
Illustration: Looking back on his own life, he says arrogance, pride, immaturity and recklessness got him into situations that took far longer to unravel than it would have taken simply to keep quiet.
“So, your personality could be your greatest asset or your greatest liability.”
1. Become friendly
Everyone likes warm, caring people who are easy to get along with. Before judging or criticising someone, remember how much God has forgiven you, and give people space to grow. Not everyone has a strong personality, so put yourself in the other person's shoes before you speak your mind.
Illustration: Before he criticises someone for what they have done wrong, he remembers the great sins God forgave him, and that gives him a clearer picture of how to deal with the person.
“Look at what God forgave you. Then start dealing with people.”
- Ephesians 4:32
2. Have a positive attitude
Find the good in others rather than being critical and condemning: be understanding, kind, tolerant, sensitive and sympathetic. He admits he leans towards being too serious, and that solving problems means unpacking them, which can sound negative, so he has to catch himself and swing the other way.
Illustration: He says he envies people who laugh at the wind and the sun and everything else, and that he takes a page out of their book.
“Always try to look at the sunny side of life and be cheerful.”
- Philippians 4:8
3. Have respect for others
Respect people's opinions, feelings and individuality, and let them know they are important and wanted. Help the people around you to succeed, respect authority, and respect yourself.
Illustration: As a leader he finds that when he shows affection to one person, others can get hot under the collar because they want all the affection for themselves.
“We can't only want to be successful ourselves.”
4. Integrity
Be trustworthy and dependable in character and honour. Integrity and wisdom are the two pillars of true success, and integrity is built over years and decades, hour by hour. Keep good company, because people judge you by it and bad company rubs off, and live by principles so that you are the same in the light and in the dark.
Illustration: He explains that the Greek word behind 'principle' is arche, a prince or ruler, so living by principle means having a ruler watching over you. Without principles you keep shifting the goalposts.
“Once you work principles, principles will work for you.”
- Proverbs 19:1
- Luke 16:10
- Matthew 6:33
5. Be courteous and generous
Good manners and soft words settle difficult situations at work, at home and in church. Watch your words, and be willing to overlook other people's faults.
Illustration: He recommends Proverbs 15:1 especially to people dealing with anger, as he himself once did.
“Good manners and soft words have brought many difficult situations to a peaceful conclusion.”
- Proverbs 15:1
6. Have a good sense of humour
Do not be too tense or too serious; it is easier to talk to someone with a sense of humour. He says he struggles here and likes humorous people around him because they balance him out, while some people are all humour and accomplish nothing. Find the middle road.
“Humor spices life.”
- Proverbs 15:13
People are watching: choose your battles and think before you act
From his reading, more people lose their jobs over personality than over lack of expertise. Being born again is a reason to work harder on your personality, because believers are letters read by everyone. Give people grace and time to grow, do not let others pressure you into reacting their way, and let the Holy Spirit show you which battles to fight and which to walk away from.
Illustration: Driving fast to church that morning he passed a grey VW Polo full of neatly dressed people and wondered whether they were from his own church and what they thought of their pastor's driving.
“Some battles, God doesn't want you to fight. He wants you to walk away from it.”
- 2 Corinthians 3:2
- Hosea 8:7
Putting it into practice
- Make a commitment today to work on your personality.
- Before you criticise anyone, remember what God has forgiven you.
- Step away from company that rubs off on you badly, and live by principles.
- Answer gently, overlook faults and give people time to grow.
- Walk away from arguments, choose your battles and think before you act.
Closing
He appeals to the church to work on their personalities and has them tell a neighbour that they commit to it, saying that if they mean it half their problems are already solved. He urges them to keep life simple, walk away from arguments and think before acting, tells them he loves them, and hands over to Minister Sia, who asks the church to pray for their pastor.
Declarations he led
- I make a commitment to work on my personality.
In his words
- “Your personality is the greatest asset that you will ever have.”
- “Integrity and wisdom are the two pillars of true success.”
- “Once you work principles, principles will work for you.”
- “You will solve so many problems if you just work on your personality.”
- “Life is simple. Keep it simple. Don't complicate it.”
Every scripture in this message
- Luke 6:22
- Colossians 1:9-14
- 1 Samuel 16:7
- Romans 7:15-17
- Psalm 139:14
- Proverbs 27:19
- Luke 2:52
- Ephesians 4:14-15
- Colossians 4:12
- 2 Corinthians 11:5
- 1 Corinthians 15:9
- Ephesians 3:8
- 1 Timothy 1:15
- 2 Corinthians 11:6
- Acts 22:3
- Ephesians 4:32
- Philippians 4:8
- Proverbs 19:1
- Luke 16:10
- Matthew 6:33
- Proverbs 15:1
- Proverbs 15:13
- 2 Corinthians 3:2
- Hosea 8:7
